Dear Daughter Pt 7

Dear Daughter,

It has been awhile since I last wrote you a letter, mum has been busy being mum and sneaking momentary breaks has proven to be harder.

The fact is I realized now more than ever than mummy is your security blankie, I am your binky. At first I thought it was monkey from nong nong or dragoncorn from the castle of ikea but no it is me.

And that said every time i leave your side at night results to a crying fit which can wake up everybody in our home. At times I find it cute at times frustrating especially when i need to pee but then i see you and it all goes away. I just sneak away quickly or resort to carrying you with me inside the restroom while i pee. Now that I write it,it sounds super funny something straight out of memes i see but it is a real thing.

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Now more than ever you test mummy. You know what makes me smile and you try out different things to discover what makes me frown. When i do so and say no you turn your smile upside down, breathe deeply and burst into tears. This also happens when i scold you and say no, believe me love when i say that that is hard but i have to.

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It breaks my heart when you cry but I need to be mummy. I remember when i said no to you a few nights ago you cried and ran to your granny for comfort. I said no because you were playing with the electric wire silly bunny. I said no because i didn’t want you to get hurt. I said no to save you from harm. Of course in your mind it is just mummy being kj mummy being no-fun.

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It hurt my heart when you ran to granny for comfort and when you tried as much as you can not to notice mummy even when i was just a few inches away from you. I waited for your anger to subside and perhaps for you to understand that mummy just wanted you to be safe from harm. It felt like a decade waiting for you to approach me but when you did you asked me to carry you. I did and you hugged mummy oh so tight, with your head resting on my heart, your hand enveloping my shoulders. You stayed that way for almost half an hour and i knew it was your way of saying mummy I’m sorry.

Oh bunny how that made mummy’s heart leap. That somehow you understood me that you are now learning how to say sorry. I am so proud of you my love because you are becoming a good girl with a big heart.

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For now i will end my letter, i am still in transit from the Facebook Ph launch stuck in a van on the way home. I will see you real soon and I promise to hug you back with kisses forever and ever.

Love,

Mummy

Dear Daughter Pt. 4

Dear Bunny,

I think I have the habit of sneaking off to my writer zone when you and your papa are snoring (well it’s mostly him) away with your minds in dreamland. I just celebrated my 27th birthday love, but it feels as though my birthday shifted to your birthday. I know bun, doesn’t really make a lot of sense. Simply put, I celebrate whenever it is your birthday. Why? Because that was when a new big chunk of my life started and the new version of myself was born.

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I know, I know, it is such a cliche that mommy is telling you that the quote “When a Baby is Born, A Mother is Born” is true. It is darling, it is. The whole pregnancy part didn’t really change much of mommy.

from trendcelebrity2014.blogspot.com

from trendcelebrity2014.blogspot.com

I was still obsessed with work, clocking in at 9 AM and leaving at 7 PM, or when your papa decides to bug me so that I go home. Even if I get home I would check my email as if it was my Facebook NewsFeed, refreshing it every 10 minutes to make sure that I don’t miss any important mail. The epitome of this obsession would be when I was already in labor and was still emailing your Tita Colleen and Tita Anj. I think they panicked when I told them that I would not be able to reply because I was in labor already, not because of the I won’t be able to reply part but because I was in labor and I was still emailing them.

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This changed when I saw you. You were number one, you were my priority. Up until today, I don’t mind skipping meals or holding in my pee if you needed me.

 

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At night, I would try to squeeze in a 5 minute shower but if you decided to be clingy, like today, I would only be able to do that when you and your papa are sound asleep. I don’t mind getting wet whenever it is your bath time, even if half of my body is wet because you like playing with water so much. At night, when you have your unli-latch marathon I don’t mind ignoring the thirst I feel as if I walked across the desert (great thing is I can bug your papa to fetch me a glass of water)!

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You made this workaholic, email obsessed lady into a mom. I still have goals (because even moms can achieve career goals remember that love) and there are times that I turn off the mom side of me, but for much of my time I am your mom. Yes I still email at 2 AM and work on presentations at 12 AM, but when I hear you cry I immediately drop everything to be by your side. When you got sick with the stomach boo-boo flu mommy stayed at home for almost a week. I couldn’t leave you at home because I know you needed mommy so. When your milk stash ran out, I notified my bosses and packed all of my stuff. Now I am a career oriented woman who knows how to identify what is important and what can be put off.

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Love, you gave my life so much meaning (I’m probably like your favorite CD – talon na ng talon dahil paulit ulit). You gave me further determination to succeed in life and to be the better version of myself. That is why I feel that my birthday is also the same day as your birthday.

Forever I love you,

Mum