How To Deal With Toddler Tantrums

Time flies by so fast, my once prim and proper little girl is now throwing tantrums left and right! Yes, that cute baby girl who would welcome me home with warm hugs and kisses is now a tantrum monster. Well, tantrum monster might be an exaggeration but you get the picture.

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It started last May; her tantrums became frequent and longer than before. Gone are the days when I can easily pacify her with my boob (she’s still breastfed) or sway her with a tickle fight.

There are times when I have no clue as to what I should do to make her stop crying. I just look at her and scratch my head.

Why Are You Crying?

So why do toddlers experience tantrums? Observing bunny, it would happen when:

  • We don’t understand what she’s saying – this is the usual suspect. We would ask her to repeat what she’s saying, but there are times when we just don’t understand. We will ask her to show it to us which just leads to a crying toddler on the floor.

  • We ask her to do a specific activity and she’s just not in the mood.

  • She wakes up not feeling good. This happens to toddlers too! We would make her smile by giving her favourite things but to no avail. No smile no giggle, just a grumpy toddler.

  • She can’t deal with her emotions. She’s still a toddler and big emotions are sometimes too much for her.

How to Deal with Tantrums

I am no expert in dealing with tantrums but I do try my best every time she has one. At times it would be difficult and you might want to cry along to her tantrum fit. DON’T. Just breathe and be the mommy. Here are my tips so far:

  1. Remain calm. Seeing a tiny toddler crying, wailing, and lying down on the floor is not a pretty sight to see. I’m sure that most of the time you are tempted to scold that precious baby of yours but don’t. Believe me, it will just get uglier when you start scolding that toddler. She will try to match the volume of your voice with a higher – ear scratching – pitch. Just try to stay calm.
  2. Wait It Out. It might be short but it can also be long, no matter what happens, wait until she stops crying. Just sit down right beside her or at a distance close enough for you to observe her. Your toddler is dealing with big emotions, allow them to experience it first hand and discover how they can deal with it. Just wait for her to settle down, it will come. Remember, they can’t cry forever.
  3. Be ready to offer hugs. As the mommy or daddy of that wailing toddler, you should be ready to offer her a hug. She just dealt with big emotions and she needs a reassuring hug from the persons she trusts the most in the world. Your hug will make her feel safe and secure. You are not spoiling them by hugging them after a tantrum.
  4. Talk. Try to explain what has happened after the tantrum storm. Did she cry because you turned off the TV? Simply explain to her that her eyes needed rest. She might not have liked it because she was watching her favourite show but she can’t always get what she wants. Share with her that you understand that she got mad and that it’s okay to feel that way. Next time though she can say that she’s mad or say please, instead of crying. In this process, you’re helping her understand what she experienced. She’s learning her emotions so make sure you assist them in this process.
  5. Take note of what induces a tantrum storm. You will see a pattern every time your toddler throws a tantrum. Bunny would usually have a tantrum when we tell her we don’t understand what she’s saying, so now we try different ways to communicate with her better. It’s a learning process so be patient, it’s part of adulting.

So those are my tips on how you can deal with your toddler’s tantrum. Do you have any tips for me? Leave it in the comments section.

39 comments

  1. Joanna says:

    I don’t have children but I did see a kid once rolling on the floor of the airport, crying and screaming, hitting the pavement, while his mother was calmly sitting down on a chair reading a book. I found that to be fascinating to be honest. Maybe she should read your post.

  2. Mal says:

    I think kids throwing a tantrum is sometimes just a mean of getting something from their parents. Kids are intelligent and learn quick that if they cry they are usually fed or are given something to stop crying. Kids are easily programmable like that, that’s why waiting it out is can be a good solution.

  3. robin rue says:

    I always just walked away. Once they saw they weren’t going to get what they wanted that way, they stopped 🙂

  4. Dominique says:

    Awesome tips. I love how you talk about acknowledging her feelings and big emotions without “giving in” or just giving her what she wants. It’s so important to empathise and ensure the situation isn’t escalated!

  5. Carol Cassara says:

    I don’t have kids but I’ve seen this first hand and it’s really important that you’re patient and calm when a toddler decides to throw a tantrum on the spot. I think these are great tips!

  6. noelle says:

    I feel like a lot of people would actually forget the hugging part but it’s true that for them it means that everything is over. great tips !

  7. Divyanka says:

    Lovely post because it is so well explained. I don’t have children but I have a younger sibling! Staying calm is the best way to deal with their unexplained tantrums and moods.

  8. Elena says:

    I used to leave with my brother`s kids and I know how difficult is to calm them down especially when you do not know what caused the tantrum in the first place. Staying calm is the key to this situation.

  9. Ali Rost says:

    Oh dear, how I remember the days of toddlers with tantrums. For me, I found the most effective thing was simply not to engage with them when it was happening. After they’d calmed down, then I’d talk about what went wrong. It wasn’t foolproof, but most of the time it worked!

  10. Claudia Krusch says:

    I remember the days of toddler meltdowns. They always seemed to happen when we were out in the stores. I learned how to have a lot of patience during these years.

  11. Sondra Barker says:

    These are great tips! I don’t have little ones of my own but I have plenty of mommies who are facing their kids in their ‘terrible twos’ that may need this guide to survey. Great post!

    prettyfitfoodie.com

  12. Prateek Goel says:

    Your gif are really funny! Love to see them.
    By the way kids love to roll on floor lol..!!
    It is how parents settle them down… It reminds my days as well..I never rolls down on floor but I ran away from them so that they can’t see me!!

  13. Momina Arif says:

    I don’t have any kids but I think it is quite important that a parent deals with toddlers in a calm and understanding manner. Parents can’t be immature themselves.

  14. Samantha says:

    My three year old has just recently begun to have tantrums. I always offer hugs after she calms down, and it always surprises me to see that she is so eager for affection afterwards.

  15. Ra'Nesha says:

    I don’t have any children, but I love your recommendations and will share your post on Twitter and Google+.

  16. Rosey says:

    These are amazing tips for a new mom. I will def. take note for when my time comes. I’ve seen tantrums at stores and wonder how parents handle them different in public and in their own home.

  17. Elizabeth O says:

    It’s really part of a growth and developmental spurt. The tantrums go away as they adjust internally. Your tips are very helpful though.

  18. Lorna says:

    My Isla is nearly 3. I’m not ready, ha! When she’s mad, I let her do her thing, then ask if she’s done. We talk and then high-five.

  19. yang says:

    I am not a parent yet, but I have seen my nephews growing up and tantrum was a regular thing they would throw. This post is going to come really handy for me in years to come tho : )You have got a lovely baby. so much love to her ..

  20. Blair villanueva says:

    Although I agree with most of your points, let’s face it that there are times kids intentionally use trantrums to communicate. Giving tough love is the best.

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