Time flies by so fast, my once prim and proper little girl is now throwing tantrums left and right! Yes, that cute baby girl who would welcome me home with warm hugs and kisses is now a tantrum monster. Well, tantrum monster might be an exaggeration but you get the picture.
It started last May; her tantrums became frequent and longer than before. Gone are the days when I can easily pacify her with my boob (she’s still breastfed) or sway her with a tickle fight.
There are times when I have no clue as to what I should do to make her stop crying. I just look at her and scratch my head.
Why Are You Crying?
So why do toddlers experience tantrums? Observing bunny, it would happen when:
- We don’t understand what she’s saying – this is the usual suspect. We would ask her to repeat what she’s saying, but there are times when we just don’t understand. We will ask her to show it to us which just leads to a crying toddler on the floor.
- We ask her to do a specific activity and she’s just not in the mood.
- She wakes up not feeling good. This happens to toddlers too! We would make her smile by giving her favourite things but to no avail. No smile no giggle, just a grumpy toddler.
- She can’t deal with her emotions. She’s still a toddler and big emotions are sometimes too much for her.
How to Deal with Tantrums
I am no expert in dealing with tantrums but I do try my best every time she has one. At times it would be difficult and you might want to cry along to her tantrum fit. DON’T. Just breathe and be the mommy. Here are my tips so far:
- Remain calm. Seeing a tiny toddler crying, wailing, and lying down on the floor is not a pretty sight to see. I’m sure that most of the time you are tempted to scold that precious baby of yours but don’t. Believe me, it will just get uglier when you start scolding that toddler. She will try to match the volume of your voice with a higher – ear scratching – pitch. Just try to stay calm.
- Wait It Out. It might be short but it can also be long, no matter what happens, wait until she stops crying. Just sit down right beside her or at a distance close enough for you to observe her. Your toddler is dealing with big emotions, allow them to experience it first hand and discover how they can deal with it. Just wait for her to settle down, it will come. Remember, they can’t cry forever.
- Be ready to offer hugs. As the mommy or daddy of that wailing toddler, you should be ready to offer her a hug. She just dealt with big emotions and she needs a reassuring hug from the persons she trusts the most in the world. Your hug will make her feel safe and secure. You are not spoiling them by hugging them after a tantrum.
- Talk. Try to explain what has happened after the tantrum storm. Did she cry because you turned off the TV? Simply explain to her that her eyes needed rest. She might not have liked it because she was watching her favourite show but she can’t always get what she wants. Share with her that you understand that she got mad and that it’s okay to feel that way. Next time though she can say that she’s mad or say please, instead of crying. In this process, you’re helping her understand what she experienced. She’s learning her emotions so make sure you assist them in this process.
- Take note of what induces a tantrum storm. You will see a pattern every time your toddler throws a tantrum. Bunny would usually have a tantrum when we tell her we don’t understand what she’s saying, so now we try different ways to communicate with her better. It’s a learning process so be patient, it’s part of adulting.
So those are my tips on how you can deal with your toddler’s tantrum. Do you have any tips for me? Leave it in the comments section.