Dear Daughter Pt.9

Dear Daughter,

Yesterday, we went to a playschool for your trial class. See, mummy and daddy wants to see if you are ready for playschool. We were thinking of enrolling you first to their Summer Playschool Session before evaluating if we will enroll you full term.

Mummy, being a digital practitioner, searched for possible playschools for you to try. My search ended up with two possible playschools for you; Junior Explorers Playschool and Cradle. After discussing with your daddy, we chose to have you try out Cradle first.

Location was an important factor for us, plus, as daddy pointed out, it had more positive reviews online vs. Junior Explorers Playschool.

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Mummy was super excited for you to visit playschool, with a bit of nervousness of course. I didn’t know if you would let me leave you with teachers and students. I didn’t know what to do if you will cry when I leave you. Maybe this was why I had a hard time sleeping the night before your big day. I kept thinking of different scenarios over and over. I blame the strat brain that I have, which has a tendency to overthink and plan as much as I can.

The day finally came. We woke up a bit late, but I ensured you felt great. I started playing the Spotify playlist we made especially for you, with nothing but your favorite Nursery Rhymes.

You had no clue that you will go to school that day. I think, you just thought that mummy will take you somewhere. You were still playing with your box when I asked you to wear your shoes. You just smiled at me, with the usual twinkle in your eye when we go out together.

I asked you to wear your bag and briefed you (how agency talk of mummy) that we will go somewhere fun, where you will meet your teacher and new friends. Your lolo was super excited, perhaps more excited than mummu. He walked you to the gate and proudly said that his little girl will go to school.

I went inside your Lolo Odie’s tryke first, he was our service to Cradle. You soon followed me when you and your lolo were done saying goodbyes.

On the ride to Cradle, you seemed to be nervous. I noticed that you were clingy, you were looking at me as if asking why I asked you to wear a backpack and why I was looking at you differently.

Love, I think you were worried for mummy. At one point in our ride to Cradle you reached for my hand and held it tight. After that you rested your head on my lap as if trying to make me feel better. You see, I couldn’t fathom that the little bunny I once carried on my chest all night long is going to playschool. I know, it is just a trial class. I knew though that if everything went well, we might enroll you full term and that it will start a new phase in our lives. Oh my bunny, it is a big milestone for us.

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You held my hand tight gently squeezing my fingers. You were smiling at me and pointing things that you saw on the ride to playschool. It was as if you were silently telling mommy, it is okay, that you are still my little girl.

When we got there, I lead you inside and knocked on the door. Three heavy knocks on my heart echoed, this was the start of your schooling phase.

Teacher opened the door and asked us to take off our shoes. She asked us to wait for a while, while she called on your teacher for the trial class. All that time you never let go of my hand. You started to look around the room, breathing in the atmosphere where laughter of little ones like you echoed. You were starting to smile, even if you knew nobody but mommy.

Your teacher finally came out and said hi to both of us. She was very direct to mummy, she told me that I had to leave wait outside until your trial class ended. She also told me that you will cry, but she assured me that it is normal. You will be with other kids your age and there were two to three teachers present for your class.

She asked me to leave your snacks inside, which I did together with your red Hello Kitty Eco Bottle. I had to let go of your hand while I fixed your things. This was when teacher asked mummy to fill up something.

While I was signing their trial logbook, she held your hand and led you to your classroom. She introduced herself and the two other teachers. Oh love, it was so hard for mummy to not look back and call you. It happened oh so fast, I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I knew it would be more difficult for you if I did. I knew that it will increase the chances of you throwing a fit if I tried to get your attention just to bid goodbye.

With a lump in my throat and my heart, I went outside and left you with them. I wanted to cry, bunny. I wanted to go back in and hug you, my little girl. But I didn’t hear you cry, you didn’t need any distraction from mummy.

I patiently waited for you outside. 2 hours went by fast. I was chatting with daddy and ninang Jaja. I started writing this post and checking updates on Facebook.

I heard your class saying goodbyes so I knew you will be coming out anytime soon. It was such a sight to see that your class of six lined up to go out. You were in a straight line, hand over your other classmate’s shoulder. A smile was painted on mummy’s face, you were perfect in my eyes. What made mommy extra proud was the very good star stamp on your right back hand. When did you start growing up so fast, love? I wanted to pause that moment and preserve it in my memory forever.

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Teacher asked me to go inside for your assessment. So I stood up quickly after giving you a kiss on your forehead. I looked at you differently that time, my tiny human is now a tiny school girl.

Teacher told me that you did cry, midclass. You joined the first activity but you got a bit distracted when a teacher left the room. Teacher said that maybe, you thought class was over and you will get to see mummy. But overall, she said you did great.

It seems as if you are ready for school. Mummy however, isn’t ready for your big leap to playschool. I will let you be, because you seem to be ready and we know that it will be best for you. I must accept that you are growing up, fast so damn fast for me to catch up with you.

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Oh bunny, I love you so so much. Mummy is an emotional mess but you are awesome. And bunny, I am so so proud of you. I know also that you are proud of your achievement, you show off your star stamp every chance you get. Please please please stay the same. I love you forever, my little bunny.

28 comments

  1. Mav says:

    Awww super cute! I’m recently married and we are planning to have kids already. Can’t imagine the feeling of sending them to school already wah! Hehe

  2. Pearl says:

    I enjoyed reading your post. I was reminiscing my own experiences when my kids were young, it made me wish I could turn back the time. Keep writing posts like these, with details about your days with your daughter, she will truly appreciate it later when she’s older and able to read. I know it because that’s what my youngest daughter always tells me. There was a time when I stopped blogging, and she kept on asking me why, and telling me that I should go back to writing because she missed reading my posts.

  3. Chin chin says:

    A long time ago, there were no playschools. Very young kids just stay home with mom or the family. I chose to homeschool my kids initially to cut on costs. I hope playschool works well with your child and with your budget.

  4. Chloe says:

    Aw this hit me right in all the feels! As my little one gets older I often think about how she is going to be at preschool. Such a big step in their little lives!

  5. Elizabeth O. says:

    The first days are always a little heartbreaking because you have to learn to let go of them and vice versa. It’s nice to know that everything went well.

  6. Carol Cassara says:

    I can only imagine the feeling of being excited and scared at the same time. It’s a first and you don’t know what to expect. I think it’s awesome that she didn’t cry that much.

  7. mhaan a says:

    Wow! Ang galing galing naman nya! How old is she? I am also planning to send my 2yo old son to playschool this year. Reading your post makes me want to back out lols. I know it will be emotional but fulfilling at the same time. Ang bilis nilang lumaki no?

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