Dear Daughter Pt 7

Dear Daughter,

It has been awhile since I last wrote you a letter, mum has been busy being mum and sneaking momentary breaks has proven to be harder.

The fact is I realized now more than ever than mummy is your security blankie, I am your binky. At first I thought it was monkey from nong nong or dragoncorn from the castle of ikea but no it is me.

And that said every time i leave your side at night results to a crying fit which can wake up everybody in our home. At times I find it cute at times frustrating especially when i need to pee but then i see you and it all goes away. I just sneak away quickly or resort to carrying you with me inside the restroom while i pee. Now that I write it,it sounds super funny something straight out of memes i see but it is a real thing.

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Now more than ever you test mummy. You know what makes me smile and you try out different things to discover what makes me frown. When i do so and say no you turn your smile upside down, breathe deeply and burst into tears. This also happens when i scold you and say no, believe me love when i say that that is hard but i have to.

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It breaks my heart when you cry but I need to be mummy. I remember when i said no to you a few nights ago you cried and ran to your granny for comfort. I said no because you were playing with the electric wire silly bunny. I said no because i didn’t want you to get hurt. I said no to save you from harm. Of course in your mind it is just mummy being kj mummy being no-fun.

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It hurt my heart when you ran to granny for comfort and when you tried as much as you can not to notice mummy even when i was just a few inches away from you. I waited for your anger to subside and perhaps for you to understand that mummy just wanted you to be safe from harm. It felt like a decade waiting for you to approach me but when you did you asked me to carry you. I did and you hugged mummy oh so tight, with your head resting on my heart, your hand enveloping my shoulders. You stayed that way for almost half an hour and i knew it was your way of saying mummy I’m sorry.

Oh bunny how that made mummy’s heart leap. That somehow you understood me that you are now learning how to say sorry. I am so proud of you my love because you are becoming a good girl with a big heart.

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For now i will end my letter, i am still in transit from the Facebook Ph launch stuck in a van on the way home. I will see you real soon and I promise to hug you back with kisses forever and ever.

Love,

Mummy

28 comments

  1. Sarah Tirona says:

    this reminded me of my daughter when she was little and our yaya left. i had to carry her in a marsupial while i did chores…make sampay clothes, wash her bottles etc. it was super trying then but i super miss it now 🙁 she’s 9 na kse

  2. Joy says:

    They say, “days are long but years are short.” And it’s true. Before you know it, your little bunny won’t be looking for you anymore because she’s on her own and I know you’ll surely miss these days. My daughter is still on that stage that always wants “Mom” to be beside her. Sometimes, I get frustrated too but then I think, this won’t be forever. So, I just cherish the moment. God bless on your motherhood journey!

  3. Anna Trogo says:

    My toddler also gives me that apology hug sometimes! I have an idea of how difficult it is to discipline your baby. It’s also sweet that you’re writing letters to your daughter. I should try it out too.

    • denice.diaz says:

      Thanks! I think it’s my way of documenting everything that is happening while she’s growing up. 🙂 Go ahead and try it. 🙂

  4. May Palacpac says:

    Awww…yes, as a parent, we must really put our foot down to protect our children from harm, even if it means they will not like it and will pull away from us. hugs from this mom to you.

  5. MomsterTeacher says:

    It’s so true when our parents used to say that we will understand them when we are parents ourselves. The ka-OA-an, overprotectiveness…I’m worse than my parents when it comes to my son! This letter is a great read when your child comes of age. 😉

  6. Ma.Me.Mi.Mommy says:

    These letters are so nice! Hay naku, I can so relate with the restroom thing. Sometimes I badly need to go already but the youngest is still clasped to me. The moment I stand up, he’ll go crying. I just do it as fast as I can. Also on setting our foot down. My youngest has started to do that -wail loudly to ask for help whenever he cannot get his way. Tiring as it may seem, I have to let him cry it out.

  7. Filipinas Rojo says:

    Oh, I miss these days! My son is now 19 years old.When he was four years old, I no longer had a yaya and so we were a team! But what I practiced when he was little was for him to experience things… I allowed him to play,,, and to fall… and to express himself! He was stuck to me. He attended my conferences when he was 5-6 years old, but he made friends with suppliers and he stayed at their booths and learning their products. Then entered the conference room at 5 p.m. when I said the lecture is supposed to end and told me, “Why am I still looking at the flower (slide) ? when the lecture was already done… There was one more but I left earlier because I promised him at 5 pm. He amazed my friends because he acted behaved for his age and really engaged them in conversation! We started traveling abroad when he was eight and he was really a responsible traveler! We are what we make our child, although, we also have to consider they really have their own character from which we base our psychology!

  8. Joy says:

    Aaaw! That’s so sweet! I should have written something like that when my children is a bit younger. Ang sarap siguro basahin ngayon na they’re a bit big na.

  9. Janice says:

    Awww, it will be so great when your daughter is much older and she gets to read this letter you wrote. Cherish these moments because things will change once she gets older. 🙂

  10. Nina Sogue says:

    Oh, this gave me an idea to write to my son too! He’s turning 2 this year, very malikot. He hates it when I hug him while he’s playing, but he’s really clingy when he’s sleepy. He wakes up in the middle of the night and whines when I’m not near him. It’s a bit hard, but I won’t experience this forever. So I’m enjoying this while it lasts. 🙂

  11. Louisa says:

    There’s no feeling like it. I love those cuddly moments and the times you feel like you’re the only one who can give what your child needs. I don’t take it for granted because they grow up so fast and then you realize they don’t need you like they used to. 🙁

  12. Elizabeth O. says:

    That’s one of the sweetest things I’ve read all day, thank you for such a good read, it melted my heart. Kids have a funny way of making us smile regardless of what just happened. I am happy you’re enjoying motherhood.

  13. jared's mum says:

    It has always been my plan to write letters for my little man, but, alas, mummyhood and life took over and I never had the chance to actually write some, except for those I managed to sneak in on my blog for special occasions. This is a treasure you and your daughter will enjoy reading when she gets older.

    It is tricky being a mum since we need to keep a healthy balance of things, but it is really heartbreaking to discipline them and make them cry. And, yes, it always tug at my heartstrings when my little one hugs me each time I reprimand him or scold him when he does something wrong.

  14. Mommy Maye says:

    Sweet! One of the hardest part of being a mother is to discipline our kids. It always break my heart to see my little boy crying and I have no choice but no punish him. The guilt will always be there and I just pray for more patience.

    • denice.diaz says:

      That is so true! I feel bad sometimes when we have an argument or when I have to tell her no, but really she has to learn and I need to do it.

  15. Berlin says:

    I love writing to my boys, too. Only that I do not have the courage to give the letters to them. Perhaps they will discover my letters when Im already old or gone. Anyway, you have such a beautiful Bunny. Take care always.

    • denice.diaz says:

      Thank you! I think you can give the letters as your gift to them before they get married? Or when they have their own kids na 🙂

  16. Rajia says:

    I love this letter. The heartfelt words that have pierced through my heart. I know I wasn’t the best daughter my mom would have but despite that she still loves me. 🙂

    This kinda inspired me to write to my future children, also <3

    -raj (www.rajiakrshia,blogspot.com)

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