2012 in one word for me is challenging. It was one of the hardest year in my life. What made it difficult is seeing my mom succumb to depression again.
Everything was going well, we even had our trip to Bohol planned out for her birthday, but she got sick again. It was hard, for me and for my whole family. Depression is hard to battle and it’s something that you have to deal with. You have to fight for it, and remember that being happy is a choice, you have to work hard for it.
From May to August, mom stayed at the Hospital. It was hard because there were times when I visit her and not even a word comes out of her mouth. I would talk to her, but she didn’t respond. Physically she was there, but here being wasn’t there. Talking to her during those moments were like talking to God, you go on rambling about your day and you share the important things that happened to you, you know he listens but you don’t get a response. You just sit there waiting for something, anything, a sign perhaps that he understood what you were saying.
It was hard, because I had to go to work with a brave face and not show that I am crumbling inside because I miss my mom and because I had to step up and be the “mum” at our house. I had to be brave and strong, not for myself but for the people around me.
Bubba and I were tested, we had our ups and downs but what I will take from 2012 is the fact that he really cares and he really loves me. I know that some may not understand where I am coming from but I know that he’s the one true person I can count on during the hard times of my life. I feel that our bond is now stronger and that I am more responsible for my actions. Before it was all about me, me, me, me, but now its different. We ended the year right with my birthday weekend and that I will treasure for a very long time.
This year was hard, because I felt betrayed by people who I thought would be my support group. I felt wronged even if I didn’t do anything to them, but I had to be the bigger person and just understand them. Forgiveness easily comes to me, but I don’t think I can look at them at the same way I did before.
What made my year easier was finding friends among my crayzee work colleagues. They made my year fun and exciting. They made me laugh and made me realize that I am a very weird and crazy person specially after drinking a cup of coffee. 🙂
What made 2012 easier is the fact that bubba stayed, he chose to stay by my side and take care of me. 🙂
I am done with 2012, and now I’m ready to tackle 2013! 🙂 Bring it on!