Ruffa :)

These are two blah blah’s i typed away while ruffa was sick, one was two days before she passed away, and the other, i wrote after she left me. I’m still trying to make myself feel better, reminding myself that I still have 4 wonderful dogs to look after. And for my first step of trying to become a responsible owner, i’m gonna take rocky boy next week to the vet and have him neutered.

Ruffa Blah Blah #1

She was in a cage, lying down, and when we first saw each other i knew that i’ll be keeping her forever, that i’ll take great care of her, and that no matter what happens, i’ll be the best best buddy she could ever have. That was around 4 years ago, when that little half Labrador puppy came into my life.

ruffa’s first day. :)

She was chubby, and a snobby little baby, but i told myself that i’ll make her my best friend, because as they say dog’s are man’s best friend, no matter what you do, good or bad, they will be there for you. Now she’s 4 and she’s suffering from canine distemper, i’ve heard of it before and as ignorant as it might sound, i thought it was just for puppies, puppies gone wild. But i was wrong, canine distemper is a viral infection that can potentially kill your dog.

It all started when i gave away boo, the last puppy from ruffa’s 3rd litter, he was a jolly little boy who jumped around and ran everywhere, even striking a fight with my two cats. I gave boo to one of my choirmates and when i got home, ruffa was a bit depressed.

Come Wednesday, mom told me that ruffa started coughing, and she just said that it’s just her being depressed over boo. And i believed her, but for some unknown reason, amidst the meds that mom gave her, ruffa continued coughing, and worst she had fever. I promised to bring her to the vet, and to have her condition diagnosed. I planned to bring her over by Saturday, but mom said that the clinic was probably closed. So i settled for Monday. All along, she started to lose her appetite, not eating anything i gave her except the alpo canned dog food, and yes, i had to spoon feed her. I was confused and i didn’t know what to do.

Monday came, and my boy friend was still at our house, with my dad and him we went to the vet. That’s when the vet told me that she might have distemper, and that she might or might not get better. While standing there holding ruffa’s hand, i felt as though everything was in a blur and that my ears are resisting to hear the words that she was saying. Slowly i sat down, afraid to get laughed at for losing it there at the clinic.

She then proceeded to giving ruffa 2 shots, vitamins and anti-biotics. She also prescribed 4 meds for her to take, i told myself that i would do everything that i can to make her better again, even if it means postponing my trip and spending everything i have to ensure she survives.

By Wednesday evening, she looked fine, she even welcomed me (and i asked for a sign, that if she will get better she would welcome me home). I thought that everything was going to be okay, but it all went downhill Thursday night, mom said she stopped coughing Thursday afternoon, and that she looks better, but she didn’t look great when i got home. What happened?

I decided to take her to the vet again today, instead of Monday, the vet there said that she would have to take the meds for two weeks, and tomorrow would be week 1. I don’t know what to do, and i know that i can’t take it if she dies, and that in the end i would be blaming myself for not being a great owner, that i was irresponsible and that was why this happened. I feel drained and lost as to what i should do next, i don’t and can’t lose her now, i just can’t, but i can not see her suffer as well. I am at a lost as to what i should do, i want to scream out for help but i know that nobody can help me. Not now, i can’t lose her now.

Ruffa Blah Blah #2

She was my first ever dog, (well the first dog na akin talaga), my baby, my angel. She was a great puppy, and companion. She knew when to come to me and when to give me my alone time. Malambing na suplada, a great dog with a friendly face, who liked to drag me around when we walked around the compound. She was 4 when she left me, and she the last time i saw her, she looked like her old self, happy, no hint of sickness.

She died because of distemper, canine distemper, a viral disease that attacks dog’s respiratory system and it works it’s way around the dog’s system. A vaccine is available, but i was not aware of this, if i was, i would have given her shots against that disease.

I did not know if she suffered or if she felt any pain, she did not cry but i did feel that she was having a hard time, i even considered euthanasia, i just can’t see her in pain, but it never reached to that point in time wherein i have to let her go and ask the vet to put her to sleep.

I love her so much, i am saddened by her sudden departure, i still long to see her everytime i go home, i look over my side to see if she’s still there sleeping beside me. I wanted to ask her why she left me, but i can not answer that question, and she can’t as well. My partner in crime was gone forever.

partners in crime

I miss her so much, and i know that no dog would ever replace her, her funny way of picking up her tray after i put in her food, it’s her way of keeping it all to herself, silly silly dog. 🙂 Her moments of lambing, making me hug her and sleep beside me, not even moving kahit a bit lang when i hug her tightly.

fluffy lab

Checking up on me every time i give the other dogs a bath, gusto nya kasi sya una, at sya yung pinakamatagal liguan. Her wawa stares, asking for food. Jumping around just to catch food and to play fetch with me. Going crazy whenever i bring out her leash, excited kasi maglakad. And her motherly nature, even taking care of the cats i’ve adopted and making sure that no cat nor dog would hurt them.

momsie ruffa

She’s a great dog that we will miss. I miss you baby, you made me so happy for four years. I’m sorry for our petite fights most especially when you ate the food na asa table pa or kakaluto lang. I’m sorry for not walking you everyday, and for not having you vaccinated. Mommy loves you so much, and i miss you so much, no dog can ever replace you.

You were my bestfriend, you stayed with me during the hardest time of my life, you gave me comfort during the rain and celebrated with me when i succeeded.

best friends forever

You always waited up for me, you never slept hanggat wala ako sa bahay, you would patiently wait for me by the door and when i got home you would go round and round and jump up to greet me, kahit matutulog lang ako namimiss mo na agad ako. You understood my moody side, and you never wanted me to see you suffer. Until your last few moments, I knew that somehow you’ve planned it all so that I’ll see you so happy. I miss you baby ruffa, you were my first doggy love, my first Labrador, my soul mate in the canine world. I love you baby.

doggie potter :)

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